The Tag Game: Belonging Without Labels

Metaphorical Narrative

Imagine a crowded market where every stall sells labels. As you pass, the vendors stick them on you: student, lesser, outsider, performer. At first, it feels like safety — at least the crowd sees you. But soon your arms are heavy with stickers, your back bent with tags. The more labels you carry, the less room there is for your own skin to breathe.

Then you step outside the market. The tags fall. Sunlight hits unmarked skin. Presence is simple again — no label required.

Core Insight

Ego tags people to build contracts: “If I keep this role alive, I get belonging.” It’s a survival trick, but it steals presence. Each tag makes you perform a script — praise the gatekeeper, defer to the mentor, shrink before the powerful. These performances create energy drain, false commitments, and isolation when the tags no longer fit.

The antidote is recognising that belonging isn’t earned through labels. It is already owned by presence itself. When you name the tag — “That’s the critic,” “That’s the student role,” “That’s the outsider role” — you loosen its grip. Without the tag, there is no contract to uphold. You stay with the moment instead of the performance.

Saturday Experiment

1. In one conversation, notice the first label your mind tries to assign (e.g., “they are authority,” “I am outsider”).
2. Silently name it: “That’s a tag.”
3. Stay with the raw exchange — words, tone, breath — instead of the role. Let the scene belong to you without a script.

Sunday Reflection

Write in third person. Prompt:

• “They noticed the tag today — what label was it, and how did it shape their behaviour?”
• “When they named it as just a tag, what drained away?”
• “What presence became possible without the role?”