The Dictator of Should

Metaphorical Narrative

A scroll unrolls endlessly down a hall. Written in heavy ink are commands: You should. You must. You cannot fail. A figure kneels, chained by the scroll, struggling to obey each line. The ink bleeds into their skin, branding them with orders they never chose. The scroll grows longer, the chains tighter.

Core Insight

Ego uses “should” as a form of control. Psychology frames this as introjected regulation: behavior driven by guilt or pressure rather than genuine choice. Living under “should” erodes intrinsic motivation, replacing it with anxiety and resentment. The more rules accumulate, the more autonomy shrinks.

Executive functions collapse under this tyranny. Instead of making sovereign decisions, the mind loops through compliance, guilt, and resistance. Research on self-determination theory shows that autonomy is a fundamental human need; without it, performance and well-being degrade.

The identity trap whispers: You are the sum of your shoulds. In Observer Mode, you see the scroll as paper, not law. Identity shift means reclaiming choice, burning the scroll, and standing sovereign in decisions guided by values rather than orders.

Saturday Experiment

1. Write down three “shoulds” you carry.
2. Cross out one, and deliberately disobey it today.
3. Notice the freedom that emerges when you break the chain.

Sunday Reflection

Write in third person:

• Which shoulds control this person most?
• How would their identity change if they reclaimed sovereignty over choice?